Per Te

Sento nell'aria profumo di te
Piccoli sogni vissuti con me
Ora lo so, non voglio perderti
Quella dolcezza così senza età
La tua bellezza rivali non ha
Il cuore mio vuole soltanto te

Per te, per te, vivrò
L'amore vincerà
Con te, con te avrò
Mille giorni di felicità
Mille notti di serenità
Farò quello che mi chiederai
Andrò sempre dovunque tu andrai
Darò tutto l'amore che ho per te

Dimmi che tu già il futuro lo sai
Dimmi che questo non finirà mai
Senza di te non voglio esistere

Per te, per te, vivrò
L'amore vincerà
Con te, con te, avrò
Mille giorni di felicità
Mille notti di serenità
Farò quello che mi chiederai
Andrò sempre dovunque tu andrai
Darò tutto l'amore che ho per te

Non devo dirtelo, ormai gia lo sai
Che morirei, senza di te

Per te, per te, vivrò
L'amore vincerà
Con te, con te, farò
tutto quello che mi chiederai
Andrò sempre dovunque tu andrai
Darò tutto l'amore che ho per te

Translation

For You (Per Te)

I smell in the air the scent of you
Little dreams had lived with me
Now I know, I don’t wanna lose you
That sweetness which has no age
Your beauty has no rivals
My heart wants only you

For you, For you, I’ll live
Love is gonna win
With you, With you, I’ll have
Hundreds days of happiness
Hundreds nights of serenity
I’ll do what you’ll ask me to
I’ll go always anywher you go
I’ll give all the love I feel for you

Tell me that you know the future, yet
Tell me that this is not gonna change
Without you I don’t wanna exist

For you, For you, I’ll live
Love is gonna win
With you, With you, I’ll have
Hundreds days of happiness
Hundreds nights of serenity
I’ll do what you’ll ask me to
I’ll go always anywher you go
I’ll give all the love I feel for you

I mustn’t say it to you, by now you know it
That I would die without you

For you, For you, I’ll live
Love is gonna win
With you, With you, I’ll do
Everything you’ll ask me to
I’ll go always anywher you go
I’ll give all the love I feel for you

Note:

this song reminds me that despite of the chaos all over this world, love remains the greatest and the best thing you could offer to somebody. only love will keep us alive and hopeful.

Why do we have to part while love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when someone bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have to end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, poems left unwritten, letters left unread, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled..

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick these pieces again. More often than not, those who go feel not the pain of parting. It is those who are left behind that suffer, because they are the ones left with memories of the love that was.

At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant, but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, and without us knowing why. And we must remember, not because we want to, but because we have to...

In letting go, sorrow comes not as a single spy but in a batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eyes, and every breath you take reminds you of him. Its like a stab of the knife, or torture in the night. Funny how the whole world became depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine how many billion people on earth and yet, you feel lonely and empty without him.

I don't know if it is worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkle with considerable space and time. Times heal all wounds, but it takes a little push on our part. Not all wishes come true. And not all stories end with ". . . AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER."

Sometimes we have to part because of some circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry temporarily to let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end, every dawn has dusk. Its something we can't control, something we have to live up with.

It's over...but life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.

CEBU

    this was taken when we had our group outing together with our trainer Asher. First time to join such an activity with some of my groupmates in PS. it was a very hot sunny saturday when we went to Mountain view. quite a nice place to relax and unwind. it has been a long time also since i last visited this site. i miss the place. i miss my "diary". now i'm starting to go back to my old days of writing or shall i say typing. i wish i could do more or write more this time. life in this new place is kinda hard but as i try to reflect on the brighter side of this life, i realize... i had chosen a great opportunity to grow up maturely and be able to live indepently. this life would be my stepping stone to a greater journey in the future. albeit i miss my family at home, the thought of helping them still prevails. whoa! here i go again... ehehe! first entry after a couple of years.

         the worst fear i've have ever thought before had already came. March 29, 2007 around 19:20 we heard a couple of gunshots. it was my mother's loud cry that really made me shiver. my brother was shot by some unknown men. he had 11 gunshot wounds. who would survive in that kind of killings? my family really grieved for the loss of our eldest brother.

        two years had passed, i thought we had really moved on. i thought i had buried the very sad memory into the bottom of oblivion. but i was definitely wrong. last night, while my boardmates were busy talking about the robbery incident and the frustrated killing of our boardmate's parents, i suddenly found myself crying and shivering in fear. i don't know what to do then. what had happened to my brother two years ago kept flashing on my mind. it was as if very fresh that it had just happened right that moment. i can't eat nor say something. i just burst out my feelings through crying. i wanted to shout but i'm afraid they might get panic. my heart was beating so fast. strange as it may seem because i have known that my heart usually beats slower than normal. it was as if i had jogged several kilometers. i wanted to get wild but i just can't. tears kept falling from my eyes.

         i don't know when will i be able to recover from the said incident. what is clear to me now is that i am still suffering the aftershock of that memory. i wish i had done something to prevent him from dying. but then all are wishes and dreams which will remain as it is and never will come to reality. i miss my brother so much. i wish i had told him how much i love him, how much i need his company and care. i may be given a thousand brothers in his stead but they will never take the place my Kuya occupies in my heart. i still need an elder brother to turn to. there are times, naisip ko, mabigat pala kung ikaw ang sandalan ng lahat. it's still nice to have someone to turn to, to lean on and to tell all of my fears. i still need my Kuya. but what else can i do? wala na sya and i have to be strong for my family. the only question left unanswered is, when will i be able to recover from this nightmare?

WHO AM I

         I am who i am... this, i commonly tell those who ask the same. well, if i were to say something about my genesis, i would start this way: i was given a name after the nurse who helped my mother during the labor. her name was Rosa villa and so i was named ronavilla because we do have the same birthday. according to my mother, i stayed too long inside her womb. she carried me for ten months. that is perhaps the reason why i am so close to her. my childhood days were much like the others. full of playing time, childish desires and wishes. it was when i reached high school that everything turned out to be different. it was with the nuns that i have grown to be mature in life and have gained wisdom. poverty brought me to that place yet certainly i have no regrets for having been there for four long years apart from my parents. that place had somehow been my stepping stone to face life's challenge. when we talk about problems in life, well, i guess i have gone a lot through. i have been to very difficult problems that i was almost to give up and lose hope. luckily, God gave the strength and the courageous heart to go on and never mind trials, discouragements and heartaches. my family is the reason why until now i still continue to be strong in spite of the tribulations i am going through as of this time. i dedicate everything i do to them. my family is also the reason why i still can't follow my dream of serving Him in a very special way. the thought of them would always come in. who will uplift them from the cruel hands of poverty if i'd leave them? who will stand up for them? these are just some of the hindrances why i still can't follow my dream. maybe God has a better plan for me.

         right now, i am happy with what i am doing. being a student assistant in the school isn't that easy. studying and working at the same time seem so tiresome, but just by merely thinking of my family, i could somehow forget i'm tired. maybe it was God's will for me to experience this way so that in the near future, big problems would only be easier to bear. i just consider them all my part in the Sacrifice of Christ to save mankind. my cross, compared to His is nothing; my suffering is far compared to His. but if i carry my cross with a cheerful heart, i know God would soon grant me lasting joy in the life ahead. perseverance and patience are all that it takes, to move on and to continue what i am doing for my family and for my dreams. others would often say i'm frail. yes, i am but they are only looking at the physical appearance. beyond it i can proudly say i am a strong person. made strong because of the throes i have gone through in life.

         QUO VADIZ? i often read and hear this line, yet have not understood it. when i asked my friend about its meaning, he said the meaning of it is "Where are you going?" where am i really going? where does this road lead? am i taking the right path? am i walking in the right way? or am i misled? among these questions, i could only answer a few. if God permits, i'll soon be a teacher, teaching students who would be great man of their choice. i hope to follow my dream and live the life i wanted to. as of now, i am not really certain what awaits me in the future. neither me nor time could tell where exactly i am going or where do the path i am taking lead to. basta, if time permits, i'll soon be what i wanna be. to be a great help to my family and to serve Him with joy. i just hope that everything would turn out to be great so that in the final moment when i would be facing the eternal Judge, i could somehow say... i have done everything to the best of my ability...